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Review:taylorj828 says:
Another great opening scene, this time describing what it's like in Azakaban. I think you made it very realistic, and I liked all the details and imagery you included. (o:

Also well done, on the part about Snape requesting someone to grade the 1st-4th year Potions papers, and then magically, haha, they now have Hermione at their disposal. I love that McGonagall insists that Snape work with Hermione. It does make sense, after all, since Hermione brought Snape back to life. But now this is starting to bring those difficult time-travel questions to mind. Like who all remembers the original past? Because obviously McGonagall and Snape do. But would the rest of the world know about Snape's death, or will it have never gotten out, and how we do figure out who remembers what? Haha, the difficulties of time-turners!

The scene at the Burrow... and Harry's and Ron's reactions to Hermione being gone and getting a position with the Department of Mysteries... well, I'm not sure how I feel about Harry and Ron in that scene. They don't really fit with the Harry and Ron I knew from book 7 but I also realize that you may be writing this as an AU. However, if you had some more details to show how Harry and Ron were different in this world, it would help us, otherwise it just seems like they're a bit out of character. Of course Ron and Harry know her very well, but their reactions seem like they've come from younger versions of themselves. Ron's right about Hermione loving to share knowledge, but it seems unfitting that he pouts and says it won't last. I get what you're showing, I think, but it doesn't seem to fit with the long journey that Ron and Hermione have taken together and all that happened between them in book 7. So, if in this AU world, Ron and Hermione never got together in book 7 (or else had a post-war break-up), it might be good to work that into the story somewhere, so readers understand better. Even just passing comments would be fine, a nod to canon or explanations for non-canon. I know, silly details, but I guess there are anal people out here like me, who get snagged on these things. Haha. And Harry saying she would miss them too much? Well, of course she would miss them, but Hermione is an amazingly strong young woman, and I don't think Harry would think of her as the kind of person who wouldn't follow a dream or opportunity just because it took her far from family and friends. I dunno, that's a difficult one. She's loyal, devoted, and loves deeply, but she's also very driven and ambitious. Eh, yeah, I'm just rambling now, sorry. Hehe.!

But I was thinking, if you didn't actually fancy writing out Ron and Harry in that scene at the Burrow with McGongall, you also could have easily just had McGonagall make an off-hand mention to Snape as she was leaving him, that she was planning to drop in on the Weasleys to invent a story for Ron and Harry so they'd not get suspicious. Then we readers would know that you'd covered your bases with Hermione's best friends, but you wouldn't have to actually write the scene, if there wasn't something otherwise useful or enjoyable for you to write.

One tiny thing - hehe - jumping jacks and crunches... I just wonder - do you think wizards have the same names for these exercises as Muggles do? We never once actually saw wizards doing exercises/fitness/etc in the books, did we? Maybe they have some funny names for exercises? And anyway, I know that in England they have a different name for jumping jacks, but I've forgotten what it is now.. Hrm.. I do think crunches have the same name in the UK though.

Another lovely chapter, and I'm ever so interested to see what's next in this story!

Author's Response: Well... I can't write harry and ron very well. And for my storys I prefer to use them as little as possible. But I could'nt just, not, put in the story because I have a hard enough time convincing non-sevmione fans to read my stories lol.


As for the exercises... I'm taking the liberty of being american... and saying I don't care that much lol. I will work hard to get cannon facts right for the sake of the story... but I won't be able to catch every americanism. I'm from America and I'm not as well versed in British English... so there it is lol.

Thank you again for another awsome review ;)


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