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Review:adluvshp says:
hey there.

Wow this was a nice little piece. It was short but well-written.
The way you expressed Marlene's thoughts was remarkable. The "I'm bored." made me let out an amused chuckle.
The weird relationship between Marlene and Travers was well portrayed.
For your FIRST story, this was like really good!! (I am saying this 'cause I know my first story was a total mess =P).
I really enjoyed reading this, good job!
I just have a few pointers though, if you ever do an edit, try and make it slightly more longer. Perhaps give 2 or 3 flashbacks to show how marlene and travers came to be in the situation they were in. And perhaps, instead of mentioning in your A/N, you could add in a scene at the end of the story where Travers kills her or the scene where she leaves him (time jump). I think that would add a really good effect to this little one-shot.
Rest, all was good. The scene was nicely captured and the grammar was good too.
Great job, way to go!

9/10

Cheers!
AD

Forum Name: AditiDraco95
House: Slytherin

Author's Response: Hey!
Thank you so much for taking time to read it. The “I’m bored” made me also laugh when I wrote it definitely not the right thing to say at that moment . They truly have a weird relationship, don’t they?
Well thank you! I’m glad you enjoyed it and I’m sure your first story wasn’t a mess. Well this was for the every words counts challenge so I could only use 500 words otherwise it would have been much larger and all those situations you mentioned would have passed in my story.
Once again thank you so much!

-xoxox-

Cleopatraa


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