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Review:Camilla says:
This is a promising start. I found your style particularly descriptive (the very pleasing result of a decent vocabulary) and although the imagery was not heart-wrenchingly poigniant, I believe that this is a plus point when it comes to your characterization. General Black cannot be expected to be overly sentimental even in the privacy of her own thoughts. As disturbing as the attack on a 13-year old child is, I would not expect the first person account to be theatrical, but instead I would expect a resigned acceptance tinged with bitterness and just a hint of remorse. So well done.

Greyback was hired muscle - and not respected amongst the Death Eaters. This makes me question the plausibility of her aunt deliberately turning her into a werewolf, albeit one not limited by the moon. I wonder, surely someone at Hogwarts would have noticed and taken steps to deal with the matter? Many of the Order were still involved with the school after the War.

I also question Black's parentage (Sirius having been the last male in the line) but I assume the issue will be dealt with in later chapters.

Happy writing!

Author's Response: Thanks for the review!

At the time she became attacked, it was considered a problem being that yes, she was attacked, but nobody really had any idea what was happening. As far as anyone was concerned, she was out at midnight on a full moon. She wouldn't actually get the Fire-Eater mark on her arm until several years later. Still, the Fire-Eaters hadn't been formed yet and everyone assumed that they were all still safe (Lord Voldemort dead, no harm, right?). The Death-Eaters weren't causing much trouble and the Order of the Phoenix was no longer needed at that point. Also, Auxilry wasn't a Death-Eater, she hired Greyback to fulfill her own wishes of grandeur.

Thanks again for the review!


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