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Review:bellatrixlestrange123 says:
requested review!

Hiya, i'm so sorry if this is a little late but i've been a little busy bee lately and hardly even checked my review thread for so long..anyway! let's continue.

I like your beginning and where you're going with the whole idea, but it seemed a bit vague. The main thing i look ut fr when i do reviews or even just read a story in general is weather or not it has the right amount of discription in. What i mean by that is as a write you have to make sure to leave some aspects of the story to the reader's imagination but you have to also supply them with information on the basics of the surroundings, people etc. But you have to do it in a way that is suttle...Trust me, i make it sound complicated, but it really isn't :o)

I actually don't think there is anything wrong with your dialouge, it is a bit short but it's fine, i'm sure in further chapter's it gets even better :) i love your personalisation of bella and how you create and make us know of how twisted and mad she is.

I look forward to more, just request for further chapters :)

Bella..(The nice one;D)

Author's Response: No problem! I can sympathize with lateness i.e. responding a while after you posted this review!

Ah I forgot to add that to areas of concerns! Descriptiveness is something I always need to work on.

I sure hope it gets better! Oh she is twisted and mad... or is she?

I will when I'm not too lazy (in a month or two probs)!

Thanks for reviewing!


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