How could you hate this?? It's so sweet! And cute, and mushy, and fluffy, and absolutely NOTHING like most of the other things you write.
One thing, do British people say 'baby'? It seems like an American thing to me, but since I'm neither British or American, I'm not really in a position to judge. From my point of view, however, it seems like an odd nickname for James to use.
You said this was one of your first stories...that's very impressive. You actually write with proper grammar, it flows well, your have well developed and non-Mary Sue like characters, you have description...all the trademarks of a veteran HPFF writer :P This story isn't perfect, which I know you are aware of, but considering when you wrote it, I'm impressed. You should try your hand at humor/fluff fics again sometime, just for fun :P You might surprise yourself, and you've already successfully written one here. Who knows, you could do it again.
It's going to be so weird reading Centrifuge tomorrow (well, later today) after reading this. It's almost like reading a completely different author's work, your style has developed and changed so much. All good changes, mind you (Sev/Lily dominated stories, that's one of the good changes :P).
Back on track, you have some amazing one-liners here, I could quote a lot of it "You mean...we're not done? ...how are we going to carry all this?"
Ah, the joys of shopping with men :P
Please never, ever, delete this story :) Ever.
Author's Response: You are so insane. Lol. As I told you before, British people DO say baby. Also, I don't do mushy or fluffy very well. I just don't. I'm a much better descriptive, dark writer. I don't even know what I would write fluff about.
And, for future reference, I was in my early 20's when I joined this site, a college student already, so if I couldn't write with good grammar, then shame on me. And this wasn't my first story it was...my second I think. My first attempt at a one shot if I remember correctly. But I'd been writing BDS for a while at this point. Anyway, I'm glad you liked it, I'm glad you liked the one liners, which are my favorite part of this story. I think that I could never delete this story, even though I think it's awful and kinda embarassing. But it's my writing past, you know? It reminds me of where I came from, and how much better i've gotten.
And it's way way way way better than my Beatles and Hanson fanfics!
Thanks for stopping by to read and review though, I really do appreciate it even though this story is beyond ridiculous!