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Review:Erised says:
Hi Rach! It's me :D I'm just gonna review this first chapter for now.

Well, there are SO many plus points for this fic! Your description is beautiful and the prose creates a wonderful, dreamy atmosphere. I alsmot felt as if I was imagining the whole thing. The inter-relationships between the characters was subtle, leaving the rest to the reader, which is always a great thing. You've set the grounds extremely well for the rest of the story.

I love love love the sparse amount of dialogue, letting your description and Molly's POV do the talking. It's probably something I can learn from you, haha!

My one criticism is that the kiss (or was it?) between Molly and Teddy was a little confusing - I wasn't actually sure if it had happened. I had to re-read the section once more and I'm still not entirely sure whether I've interpreted it correctly. However, I didn't feel that it interrupted the story too much because you've set out this structure which allows the reader to use their imagination, as mentioned.

I also thought that you raised a good point about how Teddy feels as if his life is planned out for him because he's an orphan - I'd never looked at it like that before. Excellent characterisation!

Overall Rach, this is a very beautiful start. Feel free to re-request the next few chapters :wub:

xxx

Author's Response: OH LOOK. IT'S JENNY ♥

Thank you, my lovelyyy. This chapter's been edited within an inch of its life and we know how much I hate editing. I even got rid of that radiator line after you LAUGHED AT IT many moons ago :P

The idea that someone who's reading it feels like they're imagining it fits perfectly with what I wanted. Other people have said it's quite fairy-tale like and that's basically the feel I wanted from it. I don't want to bog anyone down with details that they don't need when their imaginations can do the work for them. We'll pretend it's that, anyway, and not just my laziness ;)

This is because I'm hopeless at dialogue :P I think any more would probably detract from the tension. I very much wanted this to be something of a simple read, yet with something more complicated underlying it.

Okey dokey. I have edited this so much that parts probably don't make sense so I'll fix that up soon to make it more clear :D Probably in a minute, actually. Or after a biscuit break.

I think that was one of the only ways I could maintain the Teddy/Victoire relationship for as long as I had to. If I made Teddy feel like he owes his surrogate family, it would make things even harder for them. Of course, as things go on you'll see that he should really have just bitten the bullet and told the truth here but where's the story in that? :P

Thank you so much, darliiing. I will pop in again soon.


xx


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