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Review:orderofthephoenix says:
Since you already know what I think of this chapter, my review probably won't be very long. I'm glad that you're writing a next-gen WIP and I hope you'll write it so it's distinguishable from other Albus/OC stories.

I have mixed feelings about the opening paragraph. I don't much like how you started with "My name is Scarlett McKellan.", but I like the determination and stubbornness in Scarlett's voice.

Throughout the chapter, I learnt quite a lot about both Scarlett and Tilly but it was mainly because you told it in the story. To get to that next level as a writer, try to show the reader some of your character's qualities in their actions or the way they speak, not just say it. I hope I explained that well enough, but you can always ask me to clarify it a bit more. :)

There were a few spelling mistakes and typos which I'm sure you'll correct soon; I just felt I had to point it out :P

Let me know when the next chapter is up. :)

-Sophia
orderofthephoenix (Ravenclaw)

Author's Response: Thank you :)

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