Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:forsakenphoenix says:
This was bizarre. It's interesting to think of how Harry's life would have been different if magic didn't exist. I like how his parents are still alive and for the most part, he gets along with his aunt, uncle and cousin. I giggled at Howards and Harry still meeting Ron! I was confused because it's listed as a One-Shot but it also says WIP, so are you planning on continuing this?

I would also suggest having a beta proofread your work and help it flow a bit better. You have some issues (and I noticed in your other work too) with dialogue tags (he/she said). You've got some confusion with capitalizing letters when they shouldn't be and you aren't consistent with using a full stop or a comma (though a comma is what you should be using). I wasn't sure the point of capitalizing Mother and Father unless you were using that as their names rather than a general term?

But otherwise, this is a very interesting and unique idea and I should hope that you would continue it!

forsakenphoenix (Ravenclaw)

Author's Response: Hi,
Thank you so much for your review, I just feel awful that it's getting kind of frighteningly close to being a year waiting for a response.

I think in a lot of ways, my friend challenging me with this one was an experience I'm unlikely to forget, details, one's that seem even entirely insignificant need to be altered because really, they are so heavily influenced by the magical word JK Rowling has created. Really, I hadn't even thought of it so much, well until I wrote this. I think I just wanted to write something different, something where in the end, it would be like looking through a mirror at the opposite of the series we know so well.

It's listed as a WIP because I really, just can't bring myself to decide whether I turn it into a short story collection or whether it should just end with one chapter. I can think of so many moments that I could write for this, but at the same time, they might lose that effect that not having magic has upon the one chapter. I really don't know.

Oh I'm awful with dialogue tags, I would most likely blame not having been taught them correctly, nor having ever been really corrected on them before I started writing, but it's really my own fault and it's something I'm slowly trying to work on, with most of my grammar. With the Mother/Father capitalizations, I really don't know why I do that, honestly, it's a strange habit, one I really need to stop. Again, it's one of the things I'm working on.

Thank you so much for your helpful review, who knows? Maybe one day I'll feel like actually writing that chapter it's marked as WIP for!

~ In The Shadows I Dwell

Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 592
Submit Report: