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Review:Capella Black says:
This piece is very unusual. I like how you've left us to learn who the protagonist is bit by bit, by focussing on the present rather than spending a long time on overt description or explanation of the back-story. This always feels more natural.

I liked the use of poetic language too. However, it did at points get a bit too strong, which made the jump to a more narrative style at the end somewhat jarring. Perhaps more narrative from the start would help, or more poetry at the end? It might also help the flow if some of the commas were replaced with other punctuation, namely full stops or semi colons as needed. That could just be me, but I think it could make this piece even better.

Overall though, a really nice concept. Thanks for sharing it with us!

CapellaBlack, Gryffindor

Author's Response: Thanks. I do have problems with getting from narrative to poetic and vice versa... I'm into poetic, but narration is also needed...

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