Ahh, I just realised we haven't talked in simply ages! You requested a review from me over half a year ago.. and yes, here it is now, very much ridiculously late. Sorry! I just really lost all interest in reading hp fan fics for awhile, but now I'm back and loving them!
Wow! To be able to finish reading a story, and for the immediate reaction to be a big fat 'woah' hitting you in the face marks the skill of quite a talented writer. Yep, you. Why do you even request reviews? You're basically amazing! You are such a versatile writer! Fluffy or even dark, you can pull it off wonderfully!
Alright, well I suppose I can try and give you some 'helpful feedback'.. :P There's a bit in the flashback that is seriously confusing me. First you say "Catlike, Fabian leapt from the sitting room across the fallen ceiling.." and also "Gideon had been hiding in the corner, and as the streak of purple slashed the air, he crumpled wordlessly on the carpet."
And then you jump to this: "Antonin pointed his wand at Fabian's chest, preparing to make the final incantation that would end this troublemaker's life." Is Fabian's chest meant to be Gideon? Since it was Gideon who crumpled to the floor and got his mouth stepped on.. yeah, I don't know if I"m making sense to you, but the flashbacks don't make sense from that point and onwards. I'm really confused because Gideon gets hit by the spell, but then Fabian is getting killed? Anyway, I'd love if you could explain it to me anyhow!
"He had not been summoned since returning to relay his triumph to the Dark Lord. Secretly, he knew why; they all thought him a dead man." Umm, wouldn't the Dark Lord have already killed him? You could possibly explain this a little more.. Is he on the run? Or is he simply just sitting in this house somewhere waiting for the Dark Lord to summon him or kill him? It's not very clear, for me.
That is basically the only 'negatives' I could find. And it's not really a negative. Just things I don't understand completely, hehe.
Ahh, I absolutely loved this! The plot, characterisation, the writing, everything! I loved how you portrayed Antonin not as some sadistic Death Eater who loves killing, but a man who made the wrong decision in life, and is now paying the price for it, feeling absolutely terrible. I love how he had the conflict inside him, of whether to kill or not to kill. I loved how you wrote it as well, basically in the 'present', but also with the flashbacks of the past, and connecting the two stories together!
Very talented writing! I really do love reading your stories! This was absolutely amazing. Such a unique story.
- maskedmuggle, Ravenclaw :)
Author's Response: Well, I'd completely forgotten about that request, so coming back and seeing a review from you was a lovely surprise to my day! And thank you so much for it!
I understand where your confusion came from -- you caught a name slip no one else, including myself, has yet done. :D That first 'Gideon' you mentioned was indeed supposed to be Fabian. Dolohov kills Fabian first, and then Gideon stands up to him before he, too, falls. Hopefully with the edit I've just made, it'll make a bit more sense. :) Fabian is the one who falls and has his teeth crushed; Gideon's throat is cut.
As for your second point, Dolohov cannot return to the Death Eaters until summoned, and they expect he is in Azkaban by now. They won't summon him because it is too risky, and he secretly knows this. He has enough pride to not seek them out himself, and so is merely waiting for the wizarding authorities to catch up with him. Voldemort wouldn't kill him, he's done nothing against his orders -- but now he HAS done those orders, it's only a matter of time before he goes to Azkaban. That's why he's waiting sleeplessly.
Hope I've answered your questions! :D Feel free to contact me on the forums if you're still confused. Your review totally made my day, and I really thank you for it -- glad to see you enjoyed the story so much!