Wow. Again. I'm favoriting your story after this chapter - and my list of favorites is a rather short one. (o: I think I should be thanking you, for asking me to review. It's the best fanfic I've read in ages!
So, starting from the beginning of the chapter...
It occurs to me to wonder how old the daughter is...? Scorpius said 9 months of knowing her, right? But I don't think I've seen any other indication of age, just that she was 'tiny.'
I love how Scorpius points out to Harry about the conflict of Interest. And a large part of me hopes that Scorpius can talk to Harry so candidly because they have some kind of understanding (or close?) relationship, where Scorpius is like another son, and not a Malfoy brat as his employee. Otherwise that would color Scorpius differently for me. But I like thinking of a world where Harry and Scorpius are close and friendly. Familial. (o:
Neville's an Auror! I love you!!! (But wait, was it Neville??)
A missing ring, hmmm. I see a clue here.. but what does it lead to?
Even in the shower she wears her ring? Color me curious as the details of Scorpius and Dominique's relationship seep out. I do wonder about Harry's opinion on their past relationship was/is though...
Frank Longbottom II? So was the first mention of Longbottom Neville or Frank? Do father and son work together, or does Neville have a different job somewhere else?
By the way, it occurs to me here that the name Ophelie seems to fit perfectly in the Malfoy line of names. Nice touch.
Hmm does the idea of Lesbianism go out the window now, as the connecting factor between victims? And didn't the attacker go after 7 women? So why a family of 3 now? (Let me say here, that I'm not asking these questions so you will answer them. These are just the questions coming to my mind as I read, and I think in a mystery, it's necessary to raise questions to the reader. So I want you to be able to see what questions are arising, so you can see if you're leading the reader in the right directions, where you want them to go. If there are things you can or want to answer, like about Ophelie's age, that's great. But if there are things related to the plot, I don't expect answers, cos I know they should come eventually.)
They'll tell Rose in the morning??? But where is Rose now?!! Why delay, if it's about her cousin?
I do love lots of the little bits you put in here and there, like about Ron dreading a visit to his parent's house, about his voice never so scared in 30 years, since Malfoy manor, etc. Very nice touches, and I do notice them. (o:
Rose's wand!! AH WHAT? And how does Scorpius recognize it? I really want to know how these characters all fit together now!! There are so many of them and I'm trying to keep them all straight in my mind, and yet I just want to know why Scorpius knows all these people so well! Tell me! haa! How are they connected?!!! Heh. (Yes, I just spazzed out a little!)
And how many other Rose Weasleys do I know, anyway? Scorpius wanted to say.
Love this, love that he thought it, and love that he didn't say it. Humor in the midst of darkness! Good to lighten up heavy stuff in a story...
"Be nice, OK? Since she's my niece and all." Potter almost sounded like he was pleading, and it surprised both Adam and Scorpius when he barked sharply, "And if either of you f* around with her, especially if she's fully cooperating, you'll be on prison duty for the rest of the year. Understand?"
I love all of this! It shows Harry's softer and harder sides, it's lovely. (And in case you can't tell, I adore Harry, so I will always be catching little things about him. Hopefully it won't get annoying, hehe.)
Wow, I'm in awe at the depth your writing has, in portraying all these character. Harry's sticking up for Scorpius having just lost his child and taking it out on Rose, and relating to his feelings in considering how Harry would feel about losing Lily. And then also understanding about Rose still being young and not having children yet. It's so...intricate and complicated. I adore it all!
Dominique got an award eh? I wonder what for... I think this could be another clue..? And also Rose not knowing that Ophelie was Malfoy's child... clues, maybe?
Oh dear. Dominique cheating. And Matt found out. Yikes. This might lead someone to think that Matt had been involved, angry and bitter, attacking his wife? But I wonder if it's all a red-herring?
And who was the lover? Ah was it a girl? Is it the lesbian thing again? (o:
Good at drawing hm? Maybe Rose was framed. Why WOULD she kill her own cousins? Ah, was Rose Dominique's lover??
Oh Lord, this is SO complicated! Matt Wood is an ex of Rose's? Holy cow, I think my head might explode!!
Also, random, but I really like the swear word of "Godric." Hehe, nice!
Ha, I like Harry's temper getting the best of him. (o:
And now I am ridiculously eager to learn more about these people and this world you've got going! And will Rose eventually take the Vertiaserum? Will we find out the truth? (o: Great, amazing story! If you want me to focus more on something besides just general story responses, feel free to drop me a note in the forums and I'll do my best to accommodate.
Author's Response: I should be thanking you, not the other way round! Wow, what a thorough review!
Ophelie is three. Although her age isn't that important. ;)
Scorpius and Harry aren't that close. They are like employer and employee, although they're not enemies either. Harry won't admit that he likes Scorpius and thinks he's a good Auror. :)
The Auror wasn't Neville; he was Neville's son! He's called Frank, after Neville's dad. Neville still works at Hogwarts, remember?
Scorpius and Dominique had a one-night stand, so Scorpius knows little details of Dominique's life that *most* other outsiders wouldn't.
I chose the name Ophelie because Dominique is half-French and Ophelie's a French name. Scorpius didn't find out Ophelie was his daughter until Ophelie was 2 years and 3 months old, so he didn't have any input with names. But it's interesting that you thought it went well with the other Malfoys' names.
I'm glad you liked all those little touches. I hope they weren't too mundane or anything ;) And the humour in the middle of the darkness... well, it wasn't really humour, more sarcasm than anything, but I'm glad it made you laugh.
I don't like Harry very much, to be honest, but I'm glad you noticed Harry's softer and harder sides, LOL. Yes, he would stick up for Scorpius, and Rose wouldn't be arguing if she had a kid herself.
LOL... Rose wasn't Dominique's lover, no. Although that is the most interesting theory I've ever heard! I suppose it is possible, but I'm wondering if HPFF allows cousin!love.
Godric isn't an original swear word -- on MNFF, we use it a lot. Haha. I'm glad you liked it, and I'm very grateful for the substantial write-up of the chapter. Ta and see you on the next chapter!