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Review:TheGoldenKneazle says:
Hey there! It's me off the forums with your review :)

First off, I just want to say that I LOVE this chapter! I've never read any Oliver-and-child fiction before, but this is absolutely amazing! You had him down so well, and through his comments to his wife and baby, we quickly saw exactly who he was now. The fact that he cried almost straight away was so endearing, and the way he had tried to stop himself from doing just that really brought Oliver into light.

You have the 3rd-person thing down pretty well, to be honest! You have a great balance between his talking, describing thoughts, and descriptions; it's all too easy to get the balance wrong, but you have a great mix. All Oliver's talking to his little girl was so sweet, and it made us a lot closer to him because of that - it's too easy to have an emotionally removed 3rd person, but yours is pretty emotional (maybe because you write in 1st person more?)

The whole idea of this chapter was so cute, and I love it - how Oliver was describing his life to Aine, what she looks like, and the introduction of his wife, Sarah. I'm looking forward to getting to know both Sarah and Aine better :)

So keep up the amazing work! I'm definitely interested to see what'll happen next! 10/10 :D
~TGK

Author's Response: HEY THERE! :D thank you for doing it so quickly :) !!!

Im so glad you think I wrote Oliver right as he is my ultimate favourite character in all the hp series! :D

Your comments on my 3rd person are really inspiring and its great to know Ive balanced things out right. I do tend to write first person a lot, and the next chapter is in Aine's first person so you've hit the nail on the head with emotions I think :)

This chapter was very fluffy :P it gets a lot more serious in the next chapters as we meet the characters post accident :(

Thank you so so much for reviewing this! Its really great tp have an analytical opinion on my writing so I know which areas to work on :) I will definatley be bombarding your review thread with more requests :)

R xx


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