So…I was on my way over here to review (I was even timely!) But I was attacked by like…50 ninjas. So I had to fight them all off! It took days!…That’s my excuse for being so late. :D Anyway, welcome to your standard one-shot review sandwich, by LuckySeven!
Here we go!
Title: 10/10.…is this going to make me cry? Because I have a feeling that this is going to make me cry.
Summary: 7/10 I haven’t read the story yet, so maybe I’ll be more endeared to it afterwards, but it’s a bit repetitive for me. That is a MERE OPINION, though. Nothing to worry about. J
Graphics: 10/10 Pretty!
Comments As I Read:
“Because you will wake up.”
-Step one: Denial. Poor Molly. I want to hug her.
“You’ll grin at me and crack a joke; a stupid, childish, immature joke about this whole, ridiculous scenario and everything will be alright again.”
“Sweetie. Sweetie, open your eyes for mummy now. Open your eyes for mummy sweetie.”
-So, Molly’s mental monologue is reminding me of a scene in a book I read where the main character was going insane. I’m not sure if that’s what you were going for, but I like it. Plus, it makes sense. The poor woman has had a stressful life so far.
“dead people don’t smile, they don’t smile.”
-This line resonated with me. I don’t know why. It’s just…really interesting and I know it’s creepy, but I love it.
“Fred…my baby boy…just wake up!”
-Stupid Voldemort. You, know it’s odd, I always assumed that the twins would live, simply because they were twins! Fred’s death was horrible, almost as bad as Dobby’s in my book.
Random Musings of Varying Importance:
The Standard Issue ConCrit: It was a bit repetitive, and I wish that you’d put more…substance into it. I think that your goal was a simple look into Molly’s grief, but I wanted something…more. Does that make sense? If not, feel free to roll your eyes (again).
Grammar: 10/10 I didn’t notice anything….which honestly doesn’t mean much, since grammar and I are at war, but you can still have it! *confetti falls on your head*
Length: 7/10 It was a bit too long for the amount of content, but too short overall because I enjoy your writing style. I guess I’m just impossible to please. Feel free to roll your eyes. ;)
Flow: 8/10 As I said, it was a bit redundant in parts, but it’s hard to judge, because thoughts are often repetitive in scenarios like this. It’s a no win situation, really.
Originality: 10/10 I have never read a story like this…or any Molly POV that wasn‘t a romance. *confetti falls on your head*
Characterization: 10/10 The description of Fred, the comment about George, and Molly’s grief all followed cannon and seemed satisfyingly realistic. *more confetti*
My Opinion: 8/10 This kind of story is usually what I avoid, just because I tend to make a lot of smart alecky comments, and if I do it here, I feel like a jerk. J Despite this, it was an interesting peek into Molly’s head. Kudos! And confetti!
Overall: 8/10 Very interesting! I’d like to read some more of your writing, to see what else you can do.
*The lights go out and a janitor starts sweeping up mounds of confetti* Well…that’s all, dear! Thanks for requesting! In case you were concerned, I truly was interested in this piece and I enjoyed reading it, so never worry. Thanks for the insight on Molly!
Have a Splendiferously Fantacular Day!
P.S...600 words. Which is longer than the story. I'm...not sure how that happened. lol. :)
Author's Response: Thankyou for leaving such a detailed and thoughtful review. I think we both know that I don't deserve it :( I'm, truly grateful that you didn't choose to ignore this story completely (you would have had every right to, believe me!) Just thankyou so so much - you really made me smile today :)