Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:WolfieAli says:
Right, to begin with sorry I'm only getting round to this now. Anyway I really liked this story. I've never actually bothered to sit down and read anything involving Ariana or the Dumbledores before so it was good to actually read one, and see what I was missing.

I think you definitely captured well who her favourite brother was, being Aberforth. Albus' obvious frustration with his sister was portrayed well, I think too. I loved the point you made about the soup being bought rather than made. It really stuck out to me the fact that he apparently couldn't even be bothered to make his sister some soup. You emphathised for her there.

Your last sentence is very powerful. The fact that she would never live to see the boy who lived because she was murdered is a good point to end on. You've pointed out that this is what she's missing out on.. because she was killed, something she had no control over.

I couldn't find any obvious mistakes other than the spacing, which you could easily sort out. Overall great job, and thanks for taking the time to enter this in my challenge. :) I enjoyed reading it.

Author's Response: =D Oh my, what wonderful compliments. Thank you so much, that means so much to me. I wasn't very comfident on this fanfic, but now I am! I can't thank you more for giving this challenge :D I loved it, and I had fun writing Ariana. I'm glad you enjoyed it. Thank you for your compliments :)

Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

Examples:
  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 199
Submit Report: