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Review:bedella says:
Hello there. I'm here to review...well...because I want to. So here goes.

This story was both unique and a little dry, but I mean the last one in the nicest way. There are a lot of beginning authors on here (and not all are good); your writing style in comparison is very pleasing and easy to read. I gobbled this up as though it were words in a published book.

The beginning was very nice, but a little cliche. I like how much hope emanated from her body whenever she thought of this Liam guy. How innocent the story was coming along, and how happy Dominique was. I say it is only a little cliche because you of how you began comparing Dominique to her sister and her family, but overall, it was nice.

One more nit-pic: I understand that Dominique is excited to be getting married, but the whole story revolved around Liam. She really didn't talk about other friends or family, it was all about him. I'm pessimistic...so I'm sorry if I offend you...but it just made her lack character and made her appear a tad obsessive. I would suggest you make it a little longer so we know Dom more before she dies, so we feel a little twinge of regret. When that dude came out of nowhere and killed her; well that sucked but I wasn't overly heartbroken about it.

I really really really like the concept though. That just when your life is going great and you have this bright future ahead of you, it doesn't matter, some psychopath can apparate in front of you and take that away from you. With a wave of his wand.

The ending was spot on as well; the memory with Liam and her longing to be like a Delacour. I like your thoughts of life after death and that you still gave her human qualities and troubles really shined through. Plus I really love Shakespearean endings :)

So in short: it's a really good story with good writing. I just think it would help to beef up the beginning a bit. If you have any questions at all or just want to talk about your story, feel free to contact me on the forums. My username is the same.

Author's Response: Wow. Thank you so much! You point about Dominique is very helpful, thank you. I really should go back and add more depth to her character, you're right, it will create more of an effect.

Thank you so much, I'll edit this when I get some time :)


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