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Review:Deltaris says:
Woah. This James/Lily situation is certainly nothing that I've ever read before. The direction that you've chosen to take is unique and creative.

I would recommend a beta, however. There are several grammar/spelling errors in each chapter, and a beta can help you smooth those bumps out. It'll make the story a little easier to read and a beta is also great if you ever encounter writer's block.

The only thing I've seen from Lily so far is a dejected, depressed young woman. It seems to be her only side in this so far, and it makes me wonder where the fighter in her has gone. Yeah, she opted to join the OotP, but it was passed over like the whole scene was equal to breakfast.

You've taken an interesting direction with this story, and that will get people hooked on the story. I do think a beta will be able to help you with characterization, grammar and flushing things out a bit more. Right now, there's very little detail or description to what's going on.

I don't mean to be harsh, just honest.

Author's Response: Hello, thankyou, I've read a lot of Lily/James fics and wanted to do something a little different. You're right I do need a beta, I find grammar and proof reading so tedious, lol - I'm such a professional. And yes, I'm trying to add more description etc - I think a beta would help with that.
Lily is dejected, but don't worry she's just at a low in her life at the moment. Things will look up.
Thanks again,
sweetnothings


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