Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:Jackson Robles says:
Hey there! I think (or hope, rather) that they're in Seventh Year. But it is possible they're in Sixth. I don't think that they'd be allowed to drink in school, which I think you touch on in this, but is also easily explained (they're breaking rules).

This story is right at home in fanon. And that's where it excels. At times quick and witty dialogue, and a strong reliance on the reader to understand who Scorpius and Rose are, and what they must look like (we have chapter images for that - and this one is a very good one at that).

Onto the actual review - this story is fluff. And as such it must be judged within that realm, so AS FLUFF, it's a wonderfully crafted story. Quick, doesn't drag on, and ends before any real drama starts. It's rightfully over the top (Scorpius's ability to send the cattle-like First Years to their very dorms by a simple look).

I wasn't a fan of this story personally, but I'm not one for fluff, so that's my problem, not the story's. Both characters fit into their niche's nicely. There were a few problems in narration that were the only ones that I saw - otherwise the story was perfect (I can't stress that enough) - there was a moment near the middle of the story where Scorpius chuckles (his action) in a paragraph of Rose. It should be moved to the paragraph below, but if it is, then the paragraph would read "He chuckled. Scorpius sighed..." which reads just as awkwardly with the paragraph break intact.

My suggestion would be to take out one of these actions. There's a little too much going on. And other than the idea that they're both in a Common Room and are sitting in chairs with First Years lurking about, I, as the reader, know nothing else, so keeping unnecessary action to a minimum is a must.

The story is a light-hearted endeavor, so I won't go too far in depth while reviewing it, so I'll repeat that I don't like fluff, but this is a wonderfully good, short, fluff story.
Thanks for requesting Bella,

Author's Response: Why thank you! And I definitely understand that you didn't really like the story. I've had to review stories whose genres I didn't like. :P

And I will definitely take your advice into account.

Thanks so much for your review! :)

Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 939
Submit Report: