|Review:||Mad Hatter says:|
It's when Bea's inventing that we see what she's really like -- she's so hyper and ditzy most of the time that people probably underestimate her; but when she's inventing and she knows what she's doing, she's intelligent and focused and she knows more than you do, even if she was exploding something five minutes ago. I love this side of Bea; it's a change from what she usually presents but it's not unbelievable. It works.
I adore the Feminine Foot Soles. They are ingenious! Perfect! Wonderful! I wonder if the Marauders thought of them. Probably not. I could argue that the staircase probably goes on more than shoes, but pssh, as if.
OH OH OH I HAVE SOME POSSIBLE CONCRIT. Perhaps watch your Americanisms? They aren't too obvious (but please, don't make the mistake of calling someone's fringe their 'bangs'), but I'm not sure I've ever come across 'hotcakes' except at Maccas (and okay, it's been a decade since I've lived in the UK and I live in Australia now, but...but still). Otherwise, still flawless.
Also, again before I forget, I do like how you made Bea find it hard to stick with one project for long in Chapter One -- it's a significant marker of ADHD and (regardless of whether you did that on purpose or not) it made me feel all fuzzy to see it there. Bea isn't just some sort of hyped-up uncontrollable sugar fiend, but (to me) she fits the bill for ADHD quite well. And perhaps I'm imagining it, but I've got to look for characters with disabilities where I can find them, as they are so few and far between. So thank you.
While you're preparing Fred's funeral, I'll be over here mourning Bea and Fred's friendship -- there wasn't even a fight for it, but I understand why. As she said, next year there would be no Fred and it was bound to happen. Poor darlings. I do hope Fred understands before long.
Gah, I love Albus. Naive, but not in an annoying way -- and he really does mean well, no matter what he does. I want to cuddle him forever.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME FREDDIE? You're making me sad. This is a humour story! But your 'tiredness' and you and Bea and oh, I hope you sort this out. Re: your author's note, I love how you write Fred and Scorpius -- they're both very believable, complex and brilliant (and I'm slowly coming around with Scorpius). Brilliant chapter, my dear!
Author's Response: I'm glad it works; I have a huge problem balancing the serious and the crack-humor, what with its mood-whiplash and whatnot xD
Maybe the Feet Soles convert the lingering testosterone into estrogen and -- let's just call it magic. IT WORKS BY MAGIC! :D
I shall definitely try to look out for my Americanisms. Helena poked at my usage of 'band-aid'. Capers is considerably less British than my other WIPs, in that I can't imagine most of the characters in a British accent, which I could in Game.
I definitely did not intend the ADHD, but I shall take the credit for it anyway! :D Haha I think I just tried to make sure her hyper attention span is not just a throwaway trait, but really does affect her personal life and inventing.
Fred and Bea are bury-ers. Problem? Bury it. It gets a brief mention in the next chapter. Although eventually the mountain of dirt gets too big...
That you adore Freddie ♥ I LOVE YOUUU.