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Review:megan2u says:
Thanks again for participating in my challenge!
First off, I loved your introduction! You really got into Tonks' head and hooked the reader! You alluded well to other events going on in the books during the time with the ministry comment and the war.
I did like how you switched between Remus' and Tonks' point of view, however I did find it awkward in some places where you repeated the lines said previously. Overall you captured both of their feelings and thoughts very well.
I was expecting the ending to have Remus leaving, since we know he does that in the book, so I was confused by him saying "We can do this", but then you showed he was thinking they couldn't. I kind of expected a big fight over his condition with the baby and then a storming off scene, but I guess sneaking off in the middle of the night works too!
A few mistakes I noticed: "plat" instead of "plate", "no matter what now was the time to at least be there for her" needs a comma after what.
Overall good job! I really enjoyed it and thought you were very true to your characters! I will be announcing the winners sometime today, thanks again!

Author's Response: Pleasure! Thank you for the great challenge. I'm glad you loved the introduction. The timeline was so confusing thanks to the movie but I'm glad that you seem to think that it works. Yeah, I did that because I didn't want the reader to get lost when it changed points of view? I can see how it would be awkward though.

Yeah. My thought was that it would probably fester and then he would leave later? Given he turned up during the day and this was at night... I figured he'd probably work all night and then go... was originally thinking of making this a few chapters instead of one and still am pondering that so I wasn't too sure about having him storm off just then.

The curses of not completely rereading something all the way through but skimming to make sure that it at least made sense... I will go back and fix it thank you for pointing that out!

Thank you! I'm glad you thought that I was true to my characters. ^^


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