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Review:psychee says:
Hello! This is psychee from the forum, leaving you the requested review. :) I'm so sorry it took so long, I've been incredibly busy lately and didn't get the chance to read and review this story sooner.

Your banner is lovely and I really really like the chapter image of this second chapter - Taylor Swift opening her eyes is a very nice touch. I haven't seen a similar chapter image yet, so you're very original.

The things I liked - The fact that it's written from Sirius's point of view. For me, it's easier to write from the girl's perspective, because I find it hard to put myself in a boy's position. I admire every writer that manages to write a boy's point of view so realistically. It's also refreshing to see the whole story through Sirius's eyes, and not the girl's. However, to get the chance to understand your original character better, reading things through her eyes once in a while would be quite nice as well.

Apart from this, I like your dialogue and description - the dialogue flows well and is realistic, the description manages to paint a clear picture of your characters and of this world. I didn't notice any grammar/spelling/punctuation mistakes, apart from a few words that lacked letters, but that's just a typing mistake.

What I didn't like: This actually comes from my preference - I always thought that romance stories that have more of a build-up are more realistic and more.. epic. I like stories that take everything slowly, where the characters fall in love with each other's personalities and have the chance to interact for at least a few chapters before either one of them shows a romantic interest in the other. Sirius is smitten with this girl and for me, it seemed a little unrealistic and rushed. I love Sirius as a character and it seems unlike Sirius to rush into things. Also, wouldn't he have noticed Annabel before if she's so beautiful? He's seen her once and he's already smitten with her. However, I feel the need to stress out the fact that this is just a personal liking of mine. It isn't a flaw of the story or anything similar and there are a lot of readers that like to read stories about love at first sight. I just like the more realistic romance stories. Also, I'm not saying that you can't be smitten with someone without even knowing him/her, especially when you're a hormone-driven teenager. I'm just saying that I would have liked to see more of a build-up.

However, you are only two chapters into the story and there is a lot of room for more exploring and character development. Your story holds a lot of promise and I enjoyed reading it. I wish you good luck with your future chapters.

-psychee

Author's Response: This isn't so much a romance novel as it is a mystery novel. The OC, Annabel, isn't what Sirius thinks she is. I tried to subtly add that in, but I might have to go back and make it clearer. In fact, I think it's safe to say that Annabel isn't a student at all. She says she is... but you can't always believe what people say. ;)
So there's a reason why Sirius has never seen her before, and why he's so taken with her all of a sudden.

Just thought I needed to explain that. :)

Thank you for taking the time to review! I really appreciate it!


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