Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:Toujours Padfoot says:
You change so callously and so quickly that I don't have a chance to keep up.

I do now. And I am running.

-GAH! The pace is incredible. I am actually excited about Teddy running after Victoire. I want to see him destroy her.

Ironic how the child born at the end of an old war gave birth to a new one.
-Fabulous phrase.

We still stare at each other, your infidelity fluttering around the room. I want to capture it, harness it and use it against you: another weapon in my arsenal against your beauty and your charm.
- Once again, this is just such beautiful writing, it's like poetry. The littlest things inspire such an influx of thoughts and images... It's really fantastic.
I also like the line about floating so high that he touches the sun and burns.

are standing alone in this great, cavernous hall that only just seems to fit you in it
-God, you have such a way with words. I can't find a flaw in anything. Your diction, your syntax - everything is impeccable. I feel like I'm right there with Victoire and Teddy, following along while Victoire floats through life, tugging Teddy after her with puppet strings. He was weak and powerless under her spell, and I'm excited to see this new Teddy, the burning, vicious Teddy that is running after her, wanting his revenge.



Author's Response: Hey, hey Sarah!

I did a lot of work on pace. I think it's really important. In the sections where Teddy is running to Victoire, the writing reflects the pace of his running. There's lots of short, choppy sentences that coincide with his footsteps. When he's pausing and admiring the moonlight and the shadows, there are more complex ones. I wanted it to contrast with the flashbacks, not only to signify a different period, but to create a happier atmosphere - when they were together.

Descriptions are the bane of my existence - whether there's too much so people get dragged down by one too many descriptions of someone's dress, whether there's too little so people have no clue what is going on. Especially with this style, you need to get the balance right; it's very simple, very condensed in some places, and sometimes I just find myself describing the colour of Victoire's lips or the paleness of her skin or the moonlight and the shadows. Emotions are more difficult, more complex.

Eee ee eee, Sarah, thank you so much... you are so lovely! I'm so glad you like it! Thanks for reading and reviewing and everything! ♥ ♥ ♥

Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 944
Submit Report: