I have no idea what prompted me to read this story, but boy am I glad I did. You combined every MARY SUE indicator and cliche to create the most insane piece of fiction I have ever seen. And, the thing that surprised me the most was how well-written the whole thing was.
The best part, however, was the following:
"Wait! Ursa!" Dumblydore called urgently, and she paused. "While I am in this perilous position, I think it is an appropriate time to tell you the truth about your family," he said, looking grave, but still wise and omniscient.
"Are you sure now is the time, Dad? I mean, honestly, you can tell me once you're not hanging onto a root over a piranha-infested pit of rocks," she offered generously.
"No," Dumbledore said, shaking his head, his beard swaying in the wind. "This is important. It is time you knew. Your mother... was Grindlewald."
There was a stunned silence, interrupted only by Harry splashing enthusiastically in the water behind her. "Dad," Ursa said gently, "I don't think that's possible."
"DO NOT QUESTION OUR LOVE," Dumbledore roared, shaking his head violently. "Love can conquer all things, even basic anatomy."
"Love!" he interrupted stubbornly.
"No but seriously-"
"Okay, Dad, I get it, but-"
"It is the power the Dark Lord knows not," Harry offered helpfully from behind her.
Ursa Major sighed. "Whatever," she accepted, shaking her head. "Someone climb down there and unhook Dumbledore from that root."
The improbability of the whole thing, and the logic used to rationalize it is what made it funny. Thank you for sharing this literary work.