Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:LovelyMioneWeasley says:
Hi there again AC_rules, final chapter from your request on the forums. I was definitely intrigued by some of the development of this chapter.

I like that you started at a different year and are progressing through the years as a fairly decent rate. I think it makes a difference; I would reccommend making sure you keep up with the pace you set because as a reader, it could throw them off if you trail off from that or at least give enough sub-plot to slowing down the timeline. Action is the only bit that can help that type of compensation for me as a reader.

I loved the yellow hair; it was so bizzarely funny and so wonderful. I will admit that I read through this once before I came back to review and I got to read ahead because I was curious; that stuck with me as my favorite part of your humor. I think that it was very original and that you picked such a physical element of a girl for Al to fixate on. It is very male and very spot on. I also like that Jan is attracting a bit of attention even from our Al. We all probably fancy wanting them to be together. I know I do as a reader.

For flow, this chapter generally worked better for me then the past two. I think that it's because you are able to get some steam going for the story and it is starting to have it's own pace that I can keep up with and focus in on.

Finally, as far as charactersation goes, I loved Al and Jan more than I usually enjoyed themin the past two chapters but they are developing along nicely. I think that you did an excellent job with that. Overall, the grammar and such wasn't as bad this chapter either. I enjoyed it! Good luck as you continue on.

LMW

Author's Response: That was my main idea for the story - a few chapters per each year so the pace should keep up to around this level. Its more fun for me too as I don't have to write many fillers :)

I love the yellow hair thing, I won't lie. Also about a week after this chapter one of the guys at my school actually died his hair yellow... it looked awful. Ahha, I think the fixation is a prety male reaction to things.

Thanks for reviewing and I'm glad that this chapter was better. Cheers! :)

Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

Examples:
  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Submit Report:  





All stories remain the property of their authors and must not be copied in any form without their consent. This is an unofficial, not for profit site, and is in no way connected with J.K. Rowling, Scholastic Books or Bloomsbury Publishing or Warner Bros. It is not endorsed by any of the aforementioned parties. Rights to characters and their images is neither claimed nor implied. The use of photographs and/or the likeness of any person contained herein does not imply endorsement of any kind. Any depictions were obtained through publically available sources and therefore fall under fair use. Although we may provide links to other websites, we are not responsible for any material at these sites. You acknowledge that you link to these other websites at your own risk. All original administrative content is copyright of the site owner and must not be copied in any form (electronic or otherwise) without the prior consent of the siteowner. ©2000-2012 Fanfictionworld.net

[terms of service] [report abuse] [privacy policy] [site credits]
 
 

navigation

home

search HPFF
read stories
write stories
login/register
get help
site links
forums
podcasts
Terms of Service
Site Rules
contact us

  
 
 

categories & genres

Genre:
- crossover
- drama
- fluff
- general
- horror/dark
- humor
- mystery
- romance
- action/adventure
- angst
- au
- young adult

Popular Pairings:
- harry/ginny
- ron/hermione
- james/lily
- draco/hermione
- more...

Format:
- one-shot
- short story
- novella
- novel
- short story collection
- songfic

  
 
 

quick links

my account
ToS
random story
site rules
help
merchandise


  
 
 

fanfictionworld.net