Ah, this is brilliant! I love the friendships and everything, and it'd be just like Ron and Harry to not notice how she felt. I was wondering when George would come in, though. I like the notebook thing, it's really intriguing.
I like that you've brought Charlie in, too, even just for a minute. I felt that JK Rowling never gave him much, I mean, he never even gets married! But one little correction- Percy's girl is Audrey, not Abigail. I dunno if you did that intentionally or not, but you seem to be keeping (aside from Sam) cannon, and I thought I'd point that out. But anyway, Sam's emotions are very interesting and believable, and it's very saddening the way you explain it. I think I teared up a little bit at one point, I can't remember where.
A change from Fred to Draco love interest is really interesting, and I can't wait to see how your plot develops. Their interactions in the Veil room are a bit dodgy, and I can't wait to see what Fred tells him. It's funny that Draco needs help for this! :)
Your writing has developed and gotten better over the last few chapters; I think I have that problem, too. Unless I have ever single detail written out, I typically rush the beginning and the story gets better near the end, which, unfortunately, doesn't grasp the attention of a lot of readers. But I'm glad that I stuck through to this point!
I can't wait for the next chapter, Fred, Draco, Sam, George, ah! I'm excited! This is a very emotionally charged story and oftentimes I find that some are really bland. So, what I mean to say is keep it up, and I will be eagerly awaiting an update! :)
Author's Response: Thank you so much for that review, it means so much to me. I knew percy married a girl with a name that began with 'A' but I couldn't remember and I was too lazy to look it up. I'm doing my best to try to get the chapters written and posted in a couple weeks rather than months but I did just move so I'm still getting into the groove of things so please bear with me.