That was absolutely amazing. Oh, and the summary is very misleading I hope you know. ^.-
But Despite it all, I loved it. It was so beautifully written that I almost cried - Again. You can most definitely write a good story I can tell you that.
"Breaking his heart had been the best thing I'd ever done."
I'm not so sure you see all the truth in those words. They go so far beyond all the literal sense, like how she had broken his clay heart. Before she had actually broken his emotional heart. And it turned out to be the best thing she'd ever done. Not only did it strengthen their relationship, but it also got truths out into the open that they wouldn't have said if they hadn't had a horrible break up. So truly, breaking his heart was the best thing she ever did.
Also, I like how you described Sirius in this chapter. Usually you use little words like "His bark-like laugh" or "His smiling eyes" but this chapter, you used words that went so far beyond that. It was heartfelt. So strongly heartfelt that it seemed that I could feel her pain. It wasn't like she held any animosity against him at all. In fact, she had him on a pedestal that she wouldn't let him come off of. You described Sirius in this chapter as "Sirius. Beautiful, wonderful, perfect Sirius." You said that in the chapter where the mood was so serious and strained that you could practically feel it coming off the computer. So when something is so serious, you can tell that these words are coming from the heart. You can tell that she honest to Merlin thinks that he is perfect. She actually thought she didn't deserve him to forgive her. I love how you made it so clear. don't let anyone tell your writing is redundant. Your writing is actually some of the best I've ever read. And that includes books. Stephanie Meyer could take lessens from you. ^.-
So with all that said, I want you to keep writing. And I think it's a funny coincidence that your writing is going to slow down, just as I'm just about leaving this site, but only on here anymore to read your story and to write my own fanfiction form time to time.
So keep on writing, and continue being amazing
PS (reply, I'll read it)(oops! that was a long review wasn't it?)
Author's Response: Thanks for the review!
Yeah, sorry about the summary - when the opertunity arose, I couldn't help myself. I guess I give in too easily to temptation or something!
The point of this chapter definately was NOT to make you cry - it was to make you happy! But I guess... sometimes things don't go the way we plan them to, huh?
I'm glad that someone realized the double-jointedness of Kylie's words. You're absolutely right - breaking his emotional heart allowed so many things to come out, and now they can be even stronger and deeper than they had been before.
I try to let my word choice mirror what's going on in the chapter - angry for an angry emotion, soft for sadness or gentleness, etc. I'm glad that you picked up on the change for this chapter - Kylie's almost hero-worshiping of Sirius, his evident dejection, and both of then not really being able to come to terms with the emotions of the other. And, really, I'm not going to lie - you saying that I was better than Stephanie Meyer kind of made me squeal. I'm not exactly a huge fan of hers, but she's really made it in the literary world and that gives me hope :D
I don't think that I could ever stop writing - it's my additction, and I'm not self-sacrificial enough to ever put my imaginative mind to bed. It's too bad that you're thinking about leaving - this site will really miss having you!
There is no such thing as a too-long review. just saying.