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Review:justonemorefic says:
Hmm, I think I'd like more of the conflicts to persist, consistently. Fred seems to be somewhat irritated, but it's mentioned briefly and then doesn't really show up again. I think I'd like to hear of it for a little while, to make it stick out in the reader's mind.

Just as an example for flow improvement, a lot of your sentences have unnecessary explanation. Like "Lauren was one of the Ravenclaws that did not much care for the game of Quidditch because she was more studious over her schoolwork." could simply be "Lauren didn't care much for Quidditch" as it's implied from previous info that she didn't care much for it already.

Ooh I like how it ends. All mysterious and ambiguous. Although I still really don't feel too sympathetic to Alyssa. Holden is a silly goosey boy still though, heh.

Author's Response: Ah, I hadn't even realized that I wrote two similar statements so close together at the time (makes mental note to edit this chapter and remove one of those statements). And yes, more on Alyssa later. I know I hadn't gone too in detail with her, but I was trying to be as vague with her as possible while giving tiny glimpses at her. Thanks for the feedback, though, I'm glad for the extra insight and how you view it all. (:

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