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Review:justonemorefic says:
I think, instead of "And he thought he was doing a great job proving that he still liked Lauren a lot as the two were growing closer with each minute that they spent in each otherís company; like now", more of Lauren and Holden's time together should be explained, specifically.

Some of the dialogue tags could be livened up in the argument too. Sparingly they're quite effective! It'll put more emotion behind their words. I can't quite feel Holden's irritation, although I like how he reacts to it.

Awh their apologies were cute. I like how Holden stood his ground too :)

I think Alyssa's a bit too removed from the story right now. I don't really feel like cheering for her at the mo. I think you should introduce more about her in this chapter to remind the readers why we found her interesting :)

Author's Response: Thanks so much, and I'll definitely remember that about dialogue. I always love feedback on my dialogue because it's where I really struggle. I'm getting a bit better at it, but sometimes I still feel awkward while writing it. And I'll definitely have to describe more than tell. I'm glad you're still liking the story, though, despite the silly mistakes and errors in it. (:

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