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Review:LovelyMioneWeasley says:
Hi there again, love, I got your request and I was intrigued to see what it was about. I am glad to read something else and see what else you have written and what other styles you like to do.

So I was giggling to see that you wrote a next generation story about Draco and Roxi's children. I must say that I was impressed by that because it definitely shows a real commitment to your characters and how much you believe in them. And I think that it was brave of you to attempt to do a genre that isn't really your normal or an era that you are the most comfortable in.

My youíre a persistent lot...-- this was the only issue I really saw grammatically; I would just add a coma after my because it just seems like she is saying My, (long pause) before she decides to continue her story. And a comma would relay a long pause for the reader. This is a super nitpicky point but I just think it would make her sort of monologue more powerful by just allowing the reader to really understand her voice.

I think that you did a good job creating a believable character and so far, I don't see any signs of Mary Sue or any other major cliches; for her to be after a Scamander was definitely an original point and using Roxanne seems to be a good idea as well. I think that you are overall setting up a successful story. Because we can all relate to the on again, off again couple because we have been in that relationship or know of one.

Good job for the prologue.

LMW

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