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Review:cedrixfan says:
Wonderful! I use that word loosely, as this is a tragedy haha, but I suspect you know what I mean. :)
I have to shed light on your opening paragraph: it gave me shivers, yes. Your use of irony really set the tone for the rest of the story.
Hope you don't mind if I share two small technical pointers to help you in the future:
1.) There is a time for passive voice, but it is distracting when it's overused, which I felt you kinda bordered on, though did not take a fatal leap into haha. Ex: "It is that brief period before lives much be rebuilt, and what is broken must be fixed"-->This sentence in itself is fine, but it is a bit wordy/distracting when accompanied by other sentences like it. Hope that makes sense.
2.) I saw a handful of comma splices. Ex: "She had to be strong, there was no room for giving in to her weaknesses, she was a Gryffindor loyal and brave until the end."--> This is truly three independent clauses. You can separate them by ".", "--", ";", and/or the good ol' "..." :)
Hope these helped. Also, I am in LOVE with this line: "Although they had their differences, they were joined by a fate, one which neither wanted nor desired, but nevertheless tied implicitly until the end their days."
All that said: fantastic job! Enjoyed reading and reviewing. Keep it up! You've got that magical thing called a writer's touch ;).
-Ra
P.S. I adore Mumford & Sons!

Author's Response: Hi,
Thank you so much for your wonderful review, and I know exactly what you mean.

How I absolutely love technical pointers, I have some serious comma love happening these days, so this was really useful! :) Also I see entirely what you mean by the wordiness of those lines, I've always had problems with being a little wordy in my paragraphs, my teachers always used to comment on it, so I know exactly what you mean and I'll have to try extra hard to avoid it in the future :)

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! I truly appreciate the time you have taken to do this and I'm glad you enjoyed it!
- Ashlee


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