Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:Woodrow Rynne says:
Well, the story is intriguing. But the female character has many makings of a Mary Sue, you know?

Beautiful (even more beautiful than a part Veela)?-check

Metamorphmagus (has special abilties which are exceedingly rare)?- check.

Nice- check.

Intelligent(being in Ravenclaw)?- check.

Good at Music(plays guitar)?-check.

Show her flaws, you know..just a suggestion. It would make her more realistic. :)

Author's Response: Hi, Woodrow :D

First of all, thanks for commenting and I appreciate your critism, but maybe I can talk you out of thinking her traits have the potential to be a 'perfect' Mary Sue. Personally though, she has the potential of being a 'look-at-me-I'm-so-original-and-unique' Mary Sue. Just hear me out. (;

1. Beauty: You know when someone is in love or has a crush and they tend to exaggerate everything nice about their crush? Every flaw is overlooked and every good thing is accentuated a thousand times over. That's what's happening here.

2. Being a Metamorphmagus: Pretty weak reasoning in this one, that's just because I wanted Laura Marling to portray her and I didn't know if I wanted her to be brunette or blonde, so she ended up being both. Told you it's pretty weak. I don't expect you to change your mind, really. :P

3. Niceness: We're talking about a girl who made 2 best friends fought each other here. Yes, she might seem nice at first, but believe me, she's anything but. Gosh, that sounded lame. Lol.

4. Intelligence: Guilty as charged, moving on.

5. Good at Music: I thought being able to play guitar just makes her all the more unusual (thus creating the potential of being a 'look-at-me-I'm-so-original-and-unique' Mary Sue) instead of cooler, because it's the Wizarding World. She might seem cool for being able to play guitar in the Muggle World, but in there it's different. All she will be getting when playing is odd looks. That's why she plays (and only plays) in Hagrid's place, because he's someone she can relate to, being different from the rest of the Wizarding World and all.

And don't forget that she hangs out with the Scamander twins. She's not exactly the most popular chick in Hogwarts, you know. Why do you think Albus and Scorpius have only noticed her in their 5th year?

But I understand where you got the impression of Joan being a Mary Sue from. Maybe I shouldn't have dumped all those positive traits in one chapter.

Thanks for reviewing, I'll try to my best to minimize the amount of perfection in Joan, perhaps add some flaws along the way too. But it might not be too obvious or subtle. Heck, it might not even be there, because as I've said, Joan has Albus and Scorpius on a string. It's hard to get 2 lovestruck boys to see sense. :)

If there's anything else, don't hesitate to tell.

-Em


Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

Examples:
  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 116
Submit Report: