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Review:ObsceneDevotion says:
I like the beginning, it really gives off the feeling that it's a 17-year old telling a story. It's a nice change, when it seems that many people are very focused on sounding so professional while writing a story. The casual tone fits in and gives the story character. Though I would void avoid putting in too many parentheses, as it can sometimes disturb the reading flow.

I would have liked this to be a bit longer, as there is not really any action to get the reader hooked and wanting to read more..

Seems interesting though, keep writing!

Author's Response: First of all, thanks so much for reviewing! It really makes my day. The story tone I thought was too casual and that people would hate it, so I'm glad you think otherwise. I know there's not much of anything in it. Ya know, it's the first chapter and all. I just put a new one up that was co-written by my friend and it's got quite a bit of stuff (i.e. Cursing, alcohol, stuff). Ah, quotations, my nemisis... I thought there weren't enough so I kept adding and got overloaded... Anyways, thanks loads for this review, and Chapter 2's out (yay!).

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