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Review:thehyacinthgirl says:
I started reading this last night and intended on leaving you a review then, but mother nature kicked in, so sorry about that. I'm here now, though, so I guess that's all that matters.

This was charming, though, I suspected no less from you. Your works are always beautiful. However, I did spot on grammatical error as I read through this: What her seemingly innocent smile and charming words had gleamed from the boyish messenger was that her mother's guests were indeed rather important. - gleamed should be gleaned, I believe. Other than that I didn't pick up any other errors.

As far as flow, syntax, and spelling go I didn't pick up on anything that needed mending not that I suspected I would. You're pretty good at picking over your things.

As far as your characterizations go, they are to die for! I absolutely love your Helena. She is ambitious defiant, she is clever, she has no regard for the rules. I would have definitely pegged her down as a Slytherin (though I think it's rather apparent in the books that she's a Ravenclaw - did mummy influence that or what?) if she attended Hogwarts. Clearly, that didn't happen in this tale.

Your descriptions were beautiful, too. I really liked this line: Batting her eyelashes a few times, she admired how handsome he appeared, his head haloed by the sunset, eyes sparkling in her presence. It's just a gorgeous thought to behold in one's mind, and very true to life.

I like seeing people haloed in light, myself. It's just very picturesque, if you will.

Helena is such a devious little sprite, but I find that I really like her despite the fact that she can be a bit of a brat. Maybe it's because you've her mother such a loathsome creature in this piece.

From the moment I first read her name in the first chapter, Rowena had already grated on my nerves - so great job poking around Helena's mind. I would definitely say you have her pegged down to a T.

Marvelous job!


Linders

Author's Response: thank you so much Linders!

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