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Review:TheGoldenKneazle says:
Hey there! You requested a review off the forums :)

When I first started this, I didn't really know what to expect. When you first read, it sounds like another Petunia/Lily opposition monologue, but as you read on, the fast-progressing storyline draws the reader in. The theme of normal all the way through was very cleverly used, and I liked the way it was all built around that in a 'missing moments' kind of way, because the Harry parts were a whirlwind tour of his time at Hogwarts and showing what it was like for him there.

Petunia's character was very IC, and I liked that; it showed exactly what her standards were, and then how Harry strove to achieve them. It also implies why he wants to follow Petunia's standards, but doesn't outrightly say it, which worked well, because it probably wasn't obvious to him either.

I liked the 'snapping' moment, and the parts pre-Hogwarts, because Harry's two sides were warring, and we could empathise with that. However, the AU ending did seem a little rushed and could do with more detail about Harry's life. I know that you're being deliberately vague for it, but even just the lead-up would be good :)

Grammar; not much wrong really! Just in the first paragraph, there's a lot of 'she's, so it is a little confusing, and in the very last para, it should be "Harry had found his normal, and he [had] found it just fine."

Overall, great job!
~TGK

Author's Response: Thanks for the review.
I wanted to start off with Petunia to show where the obsession with "normalness" first started. I'm glad that you found the theme of "normalness" well used. I was trying to show a different aspect of Harry's school years and how he might have viewed certain events if he was of a slightly different disposition. Everyone already knows about Harry's years in Hogwarts, so I didn't want to go into too much detail there, because it would be boring and repetitive (as well as an extremely long one-shot).
I wasn't too sure about how to end the story, about what would be an appropriate ending. I'll go back and look it over, try to flesh it out a little bit more.
As for the first paragraph- yeah, that can be confusing. I'll fix it, it's just that I was trying to avoid the use of too many names. It's just unfortunate that they're both female. :).
Thanks again for the constructive criticism!


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