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Review:Phoenix_Flames says:
Hello there. I'm here with your review as requested!

This was a rather enjoyable little one-shot. I smiled and at sometimes I laughed. I loved what you had here. It was original and clever.

While the plot itself was good, I think the structure of the story could use a little help. I don't quite understand why there are like five lines between each paragraph. I think those could be edited out and save your readers some scrolling. Then while your dialogue was cute and clever, it seemed rocky to me, jumping from person to person. I would add a little facial expression or deeper description here and there to give it a nicer flow. Then some of your actions and descriptions seemed a little forced. Take your time to enjoy it all. :)

Other than that it was absolutely lovely! Really well done job. :)


Author's Response: Thanks Heaps! I will edit this story eventually :P

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