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Review:justonemorefic says:
Oh Holden, you're so silly. You shouldn't get either girl; they're both too interesting for you, you silly silly dopey boy.

Well, now the whole school has an expectation that Lauren is the girl! That certainly makes the actual reveal a lot tougher for both girls. I can certainly see why Lauren would be hesitant about Holden's feelings about her and her feelings about his; I'm glad you addressed that! :)

I also like how you set up your girls as totally okay without a guy. I like that, especially. Sensible girls. Certainly no sensible boys, it seems xD

I think that you have a great plot set up. There's certainly a lot to like about both girls and there's so much mystery and possibilities to explore. I think if you just move things a long a bit and focus more on personalizing the narrative more, fleshing out the characters with descriptions and livened dialogue, you've got something really good here :)

Author's Response: Thanks again for another CC filled review, Gina. It's great to get another opinion on this story in what needs to be improved and what works. I'm glad you like how I've made the girls sensible, while the blokes on the other hand are completely stupid and silly. I'll definitely see about what I can do to liven the story up some more.

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