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Review:justonemorefic says:
More characters! There's a lot shown on their home life, not often one really gets to see the whole family like that. I love Potter/Weasley Christmases. So fun. It's like, fun guaranteed 8D

Holden was introduced pretty quickly -- is he from the other story as well? Or is he completely new? Guy PoVs are a tricksy thing, props on writing them 8D I kind of like rotating perspectives. And I always appreciate third person! I adore third person, though I know it takes longer to set up than first.

The chapter did seem a little long though, I think because not a lot of things happened and sometimes the descriptions were a little bland. I think leaving some of the more mundane to be imagined and to focus on the more interesting bits, I think that will move things a long better :)

Author's Response: Yes, I tend to get a bit wordy when describing everything in the first few chapters, feeling the need to explain everything when I should just learn to cool it and reveal bit by bit. I'm still learning to be clear and concise, yet vague, leaving the reader guessing.

Yes, of course, the Potter-Weasleys are quite the fun family. And yes, Holden is an OC from the other story, he played more of a minor role in that but in this one he is the main character. This is his story. And I'm so glad that you think I pull off writing from his perspective well as guys are very tricky to write from.

Thanks again for reviewing, I really do appreciate the feedback and your input on the flow of the chapter.


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