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Review:justonemorefic says:
Hiii Leslie! :) Now, unfortunately, I haven't read the original story, but I'll try to keep up :D Marisol is such a pretty name! ^__^ Just wanted to get that out of the way first.

Nina eyed her daughter curiously before asking in her sharp Spanish accent, “And you didn’t tell me?” / “Mama, I meant to, but I just forgot,” Of course you did, Marisol. Of course. I love her family and their dynamic :D

And speaking of family, I adore the Potter family as well. Hee, Albus and his chess skills. James, don't be a sore loser!

Sometimes I feel like there's a bit too much explaining so it's a ta slow and some unnecessary bits of preposition. Like "she headed downstairs to where her father was waiting impatiently for her", the "for her" isn't really necessary so it would read a bit better without it. And there's are five eye rolls in this chapter! Be careful about overusing that too xD

Anyhow, great chapter! :)

Author's Response: Thanks so much, Gina! I really appreciated this feedback, it was much needed. Yeah, the earlier chapters of this story, I will admit, are a bit on the slow side but I was afraid of jumping right into the plot with this. I felt I needed to reintroduce the characters from 'More Than Meets the Eyes' first before I delved in. However, the main character in this one is an OC from the first that will be searching for his Masquerade Girl.

But I felt I still needed to include James and Marisol because they do still play key roles in this novel and help Holden, too. Anyway, thanks again, love! (:


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