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Review:evanlyn says:
I must look a bit weird, on the computer in my uni library with a big goofy smile on my face - but this chapter really did make me smile! The dialogue is really unrealistic - not that it's a problem for me, but if you want to work on that, try speaking it outloud to see if it sounds natural. (VERY minor issue - the stories awesomeness and fun fluffiness overcome it).

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