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Review:Akussa says:
Hi!!

Another good chapter (the best so far, in my opinion). I like where this is going and, even though it is a bit cliche, I like it!!

The major problem I spotted in this chapter is the discontinuity in the main character's personality. For 3 chapter you really put the enphasis on how shy she is and how little confidence she has, and now, all of the sudden, she is WAY outspoken in a situation that demandes a lot of confidence. That felt weird and hard to believe honestly. It's too much too fast when compared to what we have known so far. Maybe you should add little points here and there in the previous chapters about how, in the past, she has been know to have outspoken moments like that... I don't know, just trying to ease this part.

Overall though, it's a nice little story and I enjoyed reading it. Sure there are some little problems but they are easy fix and what matters is that you have a good idea in your hands and use it well. Good luck for the future of this story!

Akussa

Author's Response: Thank you :)

I noticed that when I had already put it in the queue and I've been debating how to go back to that and fix it up. It does seem to just come out of no where and I'm not liking how I did that at all.

Thanks for the reviews! You've no idea how much they've helped me!!


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