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Review:SilentConfession says:
I really liked this chapter, it was very sweet! Although so far it's a pretty simple story and so far it doesn't seem as if there is an major happenings i think it really portray's Pomona herself and i really enjoyed learning more about her character. I think this really shows her personality though! Her character is so casual, and she seems like a serious and quiet yet hopeful girl who seems to be okay with herself and has some real battles she facing (like not meeting her family's expectations). I think her whole relationship with her family though is very real and this is shown so well through your writing.

I think you integrated the quote a little bit better this time and i felt like the meaning of it worked better then the text itself. Although, if i were to suggest anything, i'd say maybe try putting text around the quote or something so it feels more like part of the story rather than a separate entity. I realize though that putting song lyrics into a story is hard, and i think you're doing a good job anyway ;D

Author's Response: hi! thank you so much :) yes, it's pretty simple...i was definitely attempting to focus on character interaction.
i think you've got her character down, which makes me happy!
oooh and i'm glad i did better with the quote! i will consider making the changes...i'm just not sure if it's technically allowed to have the characters say copyrighted things. i can ask someone though to be safe :)
thanks so much for the reviews!!

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