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Review:orderofthephoenix says:
Hey! I'm here for the Blue vs. Bronze. Team Blue FTW! :D

I love this story! You wrote it so beautifully!

You showed another side of Lily in this story. In most of the stories I read, Lily isn't usually a major character and I never really see how she feels. But here, you made it very clear how she felt about being famous by proxy and all the expectations and ambitions she should have had. I love that she had such a Muggle passion - dancing. Although Harry never disapproved of Muggle professions, it is believable that he would have wanted his only daughter to have a brilliant profession in the Wizarding world.

I would have liked to see a bit more of Ginny. You mentioned her slightly about knowing of Lily's dream. You could maybe mention how she did or didn't try to help Lily acheive that dream?

I didn't realise at first that Harry was dead. It was only until I read 'Lily started to sob as she looked at the bare patch of earth in front of her, below which her father lay' that I realised she was talking at his graveside.

Your spelling and grammar is good. I think there may have been a couple of commas missed out but nothing to worry about.

Great story! Very emotional and believable. :)

-Sophia x

Author's Response: Thanks a bunch. I purposely tried to keep her exact where-a-bouts as unspecific as possible until that very moment to create a little more impact.

Thanks for your comments about Ginny, I'll see what I can do to incorporate her a little more.

I really enjoy writing Lily II. being the youngest I kind of feel she would be over shadowed a lot. I really love exploring her.


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