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Review:charlottetrips says:
The words you used to describe the atmosphere of the day, the beauty that Lee saw around him, were exquisite. I enjoyed the life you granted the trees and grass. This piece was definitely an idyllic moment for Lee and his girlfriend and I think you captured that well.

A few things:

1) "bright shock of bright orange hair" - a bit repetitive
2) "brushed [by] lips" - [my]
3) "lips [in] mine" - [with]

For some reason, I adored this line: "It fell down her back and waved slightly, as if the hair wanted to curl but didnít quite have the energy."

The dialogue between the girl and "Forge" was spot-on, these mischievous Weasleys always looking out for the next prank, but showcasing their genius! :)


Author's Response: Thanks so much! I will go back and edit this piece with these changes. I definatly had fun writing this so I'm glad someone enjoyed the conversation! Thanks again.

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