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Review:NaidatheRavenclaw says:
This was very good! Is this one of your first stories? If so, I think it's great for a writer who's just starting out.

My favorite part of this was the writing in general. Your descriptions were incredible. The writing showed a lot of potential for me, and I think you could really go far with this talent.

As for the plot, I'm a bit confused. I know it was a one-shot, but I saw absolutely no correlation between your part with the twins and the part with Lee. Maybe that was just me not reading it right, but I do think you need a little transition in between them. Also a bit confused as to how Lee was watching this the entire time, as it was his PoV. So just clear it up a bit and I think you'll be fine!

Other than that, I loved the characterization. The formatting was a little far apart, but it wasn't too distracting. Overall, I think it was a good, abit a fluffy, one-shot. Great job!

Author's Response: Thanks. Yes this is one of my first stories. This piece was actually first person the whole way through from Lee's point of view. I was writing it third person and got halfway through and was like "Hey this reads like someone's internal thoughts" so I decided that that's what it would be :). I was slightly worried about it getting confusing though. I might look over it and see if I can make it read better.
Thanks again!

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