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Review:fuzzylogic says:
Wow. I really like this. I liked seeing the world through the eyes of the barista, it was a welcome change and a nice perspective. Some sentences are a bit awkward though, like:

As she walks away from the counter towards the door, the barista greets his next customer with a smile, a young mother whose young daughter stands quietly beside her mother, her young, wide eyes taking in the posters on the walls of the coffee shop.

I think the word young is used too many times. Sorry, I'm not trying to be harsh, only helpful :)

So far I'm very interested in this story, and will continue reading. I like your characters a lot :)

Author's Response: I like writing the barista more than I originally thought I would, so it's nice to know that the readers like him, too!

And don't apologise for giving me feedback! Every little bit is helpful. That sentence IS awkward. I don't know how I missed it. Maybe I just read over this too many times. I definitely agree that the word 'young' is used too many times in that.

I know that other sentences aren't perfect. This is pretty raw and I know it has imperfections. So, again, please give me as feedback as you can! You're not being harsh at all.

I'm glad that I've managed to capture your interest! And thank you for saying you like my characters.

Thanks so much for your lovely review.

Joop.


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