I said I was going to have a look at your other work, so here I am! This review is really aimed at the whole thing, not just this chapter...this just seemed like the most convenient place to put it.
First, since its the thing I'm most impressed with, I'll comment on your style. I'm of two minds when it comes to writing style in Harry Potter fanfiction. The first is that there should be an effort made to adhere to the style evident in the books. It should feel recognizable as a Harry Potter story, even if it wasn't written by Rowling.
Having said that, if you're going to write in a style that is -not- comparable to the original, it needs to be interesting, it need to be distinct, and frankly, it needs to be good. I can't count the number of stories I've read where the premise was good, and the writing was technically sound, but the -voice- of the story, and its pacing and flow just killed it...made it unreadable. If its not clear yet, I should tell you I'm really picky :-D.
So...to your style. There's been a dark tinge to everything of yours I've read, and I'm not sure if that's just your natural mode, or a pure function of your subject matter in both cases, but I'll admit I'm curious to find out how a fluff story would sound coming from you!
For all of that though, your style is the one really captivating thing about your story so far. There may not be a lot 'happening', but you've managed to paint a vivid picture of your character, and to engage us in her and in her situation. Despite being entirely character-centric though, I don't feel like the story has 'sat still', trapped inside of her head, which is a risk with stories like this one.
Once again, stylistically, I'm impressed, and I'm looking forward to the next installment...at this stage, I couldn't ask for better than that :-). This is also the very first next gen fic I've ever read...so yours will be the standard by which I judge all others that come after...so - no pressure or anything -
Author's Response: Thank you so much for your lovely words! You've just made my day :) I'm very glad that you liked the style and it seems to work and that it wasn't off putting. I do tend to write darker stories in general... but I'm a secret lover of fluff and have been meaning to try my hand at writing something like that for a bit now. :)
I'm glad you liked it - it is very character-centric right now, though a plot will be introduced. Still, this will never have lots of action scenes or anything so hopefully it doesn't get too boring! :P And I'm honored to have this be the first next gen fic that you've ever read... no pressure haha. ;) Thank you so much for you kind words and I appreciate it a lot!