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Review:long_live_luna_bellatrix says:
Hello again! You're right, things aren't exactly action-packed yet, but that's ok. We're getting to know Dom, to know her fears and her weariness and her good character beneath a thick layer of flaws. It wouldn't be a bad idea to shove background info to the side for a good chunk of the next chapter, and get things moving. I'm not dying to know the origin of Summerbee House, and don't even need to know all the backstories of Dom's four new "friends." As the reader, I want to see how this place will affect her, how it will change her.

The thing that most interested me in this chapter was the fact that Dom comes to Summerbee House and finds, to her surprise, people she recognizes from school. Especially a Head Girl, one who had so much going for her. That sounds utterly realistic, and it'll be interesting to see what she was hiding all those years.

I've noticed recently that I do a lot of copy and pasting when I review; I suppose I want writers to have specific examples, as I'm always dying for them. Anyway, here was a fairly small part of the chapter that I laughed at nonetheless. It explains a lot about her character, pretty effortlessly and quite simply:

"Of course, Dom knows that stereotyping houses is bad.
She does it anyways."

Overall, not a bad chapter. Things are moving along.

Author's Response: I'm glad that Dom's character seems to be developing, that was really the point of the first two chapters. :) I'll take your advice and try to move things along faster for next chapter - hopefully the plot will pick up and we'll see what happens there. There's another character (I know... there's a lot -hides-) who will hopefully cause some things to actually happen. Thank you for your helpful feedback, it means a lot! :)

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