Hi there, just here with your review!
First off, I want to take a chance to say that I LOVE that you wrote about Percy. He's kind of a forgotten character who hardly ever gets written about! So it's always refreshing to read a story about him.
Which brings me to your question of Percy's characterization. Personally, I think you hit him spot on. His methodic way of doing things was there, and you really took it one step deeper and showed a different side to the feud he had with his family. One of my favorite parts of this, in terms of character development was where Percy talks himself out of going to the wedding. It fit him very well and really added something extra.
Your flow, also was really good, in my opinion. I didn't get lost or bored while reading, so it was a perfect pace for me.
That being said, I did catch a few grammar/spelling things you may want to take a look at. In the second paragraph, you might want to add commas between flat and which, and goldfish and thinking. Also, in the third paragraph, second to last sentence, it should be "ought to be" instead of "out to be." Then one other thing, where Percy says "Muffilato," I think "Silencio" would be a better choice, as Muffilato makes it so that others can't hear you, but Silencio would silence the noises. But those were the only issues I could find, and they're pretty nitpick-y, so you've done good.
I wanted to say, also, that I absolutely ADORED your ending paragraph. It was perfect, and the way you wrote it was great.
Overall, I think you have a very well written one-shot here, I really enjoyed reading it. Once again, you had the characterization of Percy spot on, and that really made the story enjoyable. Awesome job!
Author's Response: Angela, Thank you so much for the long and kind review! I greatly appreciate it.
I'm so glad you liked my characterization with Percy. I wanted to take creative liberty with him, but was afraid of how he'd end up turning out. I was kind of terrified he'd come off too, too, snooty, and I didn't want that to happen. But I'm glad that you found him well! YAY!
Oh, thank you so much for clarifying with the spells! When I wrote this, I had Silencio written first, but then I was like "NO! IT MUST BE MUFFILATO!" I don't know why my brain decided to make that decision, but it did. I'll change that ASAP! Thank you so very much.
I appreciate all of your comments, they made me smile! Thanks for taking the time out to read and review for me!