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Review:puiwaihin says:
I really liked how you built up suspense in this chapter. Simply having everything remain silent as she went through her home was a very good tactic. It reminded me of times when I would come home to an empty house.

I particularly liked the scene with the painting of Abraxas Malfoy. It was what put me most in mind of the Black residence at Grimauld Place. Nice detail.

If there's any criticism of the overall story thus far, it's that there is not much interaction. Almost all the action has been an internal monologue. There's nothing wrong with that, perhaps if Illyana had been in a discussion with a classmate before apparating home it might have added another dimension to the chapter.

Good writing and I look forward to reading more.

Author's Response: 'Ello again!

I'm glad you felt the suspense from this chapter. I always undermine myself as a writer (worst critic right here!) and feel that I can't make my readers' feel certain things -so this makes me happy! Coming home to an empty house, when you don't expect it, always freaks me out. I find myself looking through the whole thing...just in case haha.

See, there is some magic here ;)

Your criticism at the end really sums up what has been going on! Aka, the distinction you make between internal and external events is really eye-opening. Unfortunately, the next chapter was already semi-written and planned, but after that there will be more interaction than I can probably handle. I really appreciate this bit a feedback and hope to change the pace of the story because of it. Thank you so much :)

Best,
NRB


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