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Review:LovelyMioneWeasley says:
Hi, there LMW back again with your requested reviews. So this chapter was more about Haley settling in and how she fit in to the dynamic of the Trio as well with the Maraduers.

I find it really unrealistic that they never would have heard her speak before. I mean, they have to have classes with her and if James stalks Lily so much, she must have said something at some point. For them to wait until the Seventh Year just doesn't seem realistic to me.

I applaud you for not taking the cliche route and making James the Head Boy along with Lily as Head Girl. However, disregarding Peter with the way you seemed just seems like you don't want to utilize him as a character. I encourage you to consider taking a different route and maybe using him in your plot.

Lily was believable as well as Alice and a slightly unattractive Frank. I liked all that and I like that you are giving Haley flaws. I also think that maybe you could add some dimension to her by having her interact with other students and see how she acts.

Best of luck,
LMW

Author's Response: Maybe, instead of never hearing her speak, I'll put instead, maybe barely have heard her talk, that way it's a little more believable.
As for Peter, I'm not sure how I want to use his character in my story for now, but just in case he will play an important role, I'll take your advice and expand on his character a little more. Also, I'll have Haley interact with some others and break her out off the cage I have written her in. I really want my fan fic to be believable so Thank you very much for your advice :)


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