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Review:BrightStar says:
Hey! BrightStar here with your review!

This was SUCH a feel good story, even though I didnt think it would be at the start. I liked it even more when you said in the note at the end there was some personal experience that lead to you writing it.

In reviews, you've always given me really good CC so I hope I can do this for you too!

I spotted some grammar mistakes, though I'm sure with a read through you might be able to sort it out. Sometimes it was hard to follow as things were (very seldomly) worded strangely, like:

"... and also the day of the end of everything…my every little feeling…my every emotion…my oh-so-pathetic life…and the end of my love for my brother-in-law –to-be. "

This also struck me as being very dramatic - but then there was cause for it! The wording that seems odd to me may be on purpose however - who thinks in perfect English at times like these? On the same point - I thought there were a lot of brackets (like so), but then that could be just down to our differences as writers :)

On believablilty, I thought it was very believable at first, but the spur of the moment wedding thing threw me - to be honest, I thought that was ooc for your characters, and very much so for the parents (and presumably lily?) to go along with this. The ending was a little unrealistic (the honeymoon plans etc) BUT still made me feel really good and happy for rose!!!


The one other thing I noticed was the use of phrases like "I, Rose Serena Weasely". I didn't think proclaimations like this really fit with the mood of the story that you had so well established -it's oddly formal for someone freaking out isn't it? Also I found it strange your characters used their middle names so much, I don't actually know anyone who does that. HOWEVER, I realise that's just a personal thing.

Overall - I really enjoyed it. The problems above are nothing compared to the fact that this is a really good story, from a writer with a clearly vivid imagination (the descriptions of the surroundings! wow!). And I loved her relationship with Al!

Thanks for requesting!!!

- B :D

Author's Response: Hey!!

Wow, you're such an amazing reviewer! =)

Thanks a lot for your comments and pointers! I am getting the story beta-read, and once it comes from my beta, I'll give it another edit myself, keeping in mind all the points you and the other reviewers have pointed out!

I will work on the improvements!

I am glad that you enjoyed the story and you found the descriptions nice.

Thanks a lot for your time and thoughts!

Cheers!
AD


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